Salad of Champions

I eat this a lot. Sometimes twice a day. It’s the right way to eat like a pig – in that, despite the common thinking on the subject, a healthy pig would probably like to eat much in the same way. Or maybe it sounds better to eat like a mindful mule. It’s a semi-starvation diet, no doubt, but humans probably are meant to be a bit starved, lean, fit. It’s a pretty simple plan: moderate starvation + excessive physicality = fighting weight; fighting weight + a few pounds of “wine and beer” = just about right.

Start with a pretty bowl about the size of your head.
A fork and a spoon – you might need both.
Ingredients vary with season and availability. Try something new.
Break or cut to desire.
A few leaves of lettuce – something better than “iceberg dead ahead.”
A couple pieces of kale or chard or cabbage or the like.
A couple pieces of bread or a cup of mixed rolled rye/barley/oats/wheat.
A few canopies of broccoli or cauliflower.
Tomato or apple or pear or plum or orange.
Carrots or radishes? Whatever you’ve got.
Hunk of cheese or tofu or tempeh or peanut butter or some sliced almonds.
A bundle of cilantro or dill.
Green onion. Why not throw the whole thing in there.
Several twists of pepper.
Several shakes of red chile pepper, sea salt.
A good splash of apple cider vinegar to rinse down some of that shake.
A squeeze or slash of mustard (Dijon?)
More olive oil than you dare to measure – like about five seconds.