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Thursday, March 14, 2019

Underwear and How to Wear It (Part II)

And now for an epiphany twenty-five years in the making. In part one of this thread, if I recall, I haven't bothered to reread it, LOL, I essentially relayed the pro (read: amateur) tip about wearing ones underwear inside-out. A great tip. It does help. But something still wasn't quite complete. Something has been nagging at me. I kept thinking about underwear. And running shorts. And why do they have that liner? An extra layer to trap heat that no runner needs except maybe in the depths of a SoCal winter. So I thought about cutting it out. I'm a fan of altering ones clothing to fit ones needs. I do it with my running shirts all the time, or, I should say, to almost all of them. I cut off all the hems around the neck and sleeves and waistline. It's in a post. "It's down there somewhere." But not without careful thought. Always with careful thought, the cutting. But I just couldn't get myself to cut out the liner in my shorts. Why is it there? Why is it always there? I kept asking myself while staring at the ceiling as I lay awake through the middle of the night wishing I could just get out and go for a run like a lunatic a two-thirty in the morning. (Hashtag: Way of the future?) Finally it came to me. I'm not sure why this took me so long to approach. I mean, I've been running my entire adult life. And I'm getting pretty old! I'm totally half way through. Is this my midlife crisis? Well, I hope so. Because it's going to be a whole lot cheaper than a red Porsche convertible and the complications that would arise from its Barbie-esc accompaniment. And it will save You money too! All will benefit and stay cooler through this revving up summer season. So here it is. Underwear and How to Wear It. Don't. Just don't. What do you think that liner is for?! I mean, two pairs of underwear? Isn't that a little extravagant? So now you'll save money because you can stop buying thirty dollar running underwear. And be less stinky! And run cooler! You might feel a little like a pervert for the first few runs. But you'll get used to it...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Many years ago I was living in a place with extremely cold and windy winters. I bought a jacket that I absolutely loved except for one part that I absolutely hated: it had a hood that was supposed to be rolled up and stored in the (zippered) collar. It looked ridiculous; if you stored the hood, your collar looked gigantic, if you didn't, it just looked sloppy. It took me several weeks to realize that I could just take my kitchen shears and cut off the hood. Now the jacket was perfect again. This was a long-winded way of saying that I agree you should alter your clothes however you want. I imagine that concept has been lost over the centuries as most people have gone from making to purchasing 100% of their clothes.

mindful mule said...

Thanks, JAM. Hoods. Don't get me started on hoods. They block peripheral vision! Cut them off! I suppose one day we'll need to start our own line of clothing...

Anonymous said...

Rob&Jam Gal clothing! If only we knew a cute little girl who could model.